"Seeing her smile is proof enough that I should be happy." - BP
(April 10, 2008)
I Hate Retail
Disclaimer (for the purpose of keeping my job (for now) I will not say exactly WHERE it is that I work).
I hate working retail, it's the exact opposite of everything I've ever wanted in a job, the other day I went to buy a new laptop but was convinced not to buy one do to the other associates not wanting my "dry sale" to effect our store, so I went to the only other store that had it and of course the manager caught me thanks to somebody recognizing me there... she flipped out and called my store and even went as for as to send the general manager over there to yell at my boss... what's the freaking big deal? So the stores % went down for a short time, they'll live... they need to get lives and remember what's important... I really don't want to continue with the work I'm doing and I think I'll be quiting soon.
More complaints about my job to come...
__________
(April 08, 2008)
BTW...
...Heima was amazing =)
__________
(February 02, 2008)
Glass in the Trees
One of my favorite bands "Dead Poetic" has a song called "Glass in the Trees"... I'd always speculated it was about someone dying, until I found this quote from the band:
The song is about a very, very close friend of ours who died in a car accident. The crash site was so horrible, the windshield was embedded into 2 trees. The song is about my relationship with him, and the regrets of choices I had made."
So anyhow, here are the lyrics, they always really touch my heart and make me think of the importance of our friends and the effect they have on our lives.
I don't want to come back here, to this place.
It's a cold that only comes from blaming yourself for two decades wasted.
And I don't want to come back here, to this place.
When it all just repeats in my head again, and I cannot stop it.
And the glass in the trees, and all you left here,
Reflects everything that I missed.
And the pavement is still warm from the tires.
I can still feel the fright that the night brings.
Every song that you'd sing.
And I won't ever come back here to this place.
All I ever do is picture you smiling, and then picture you leaving.
And the glass in the trees, and all you left here,
Reflects everything that I missed.
Slow down.
I'll try and make it up to you.
They've cut down the trees to try to forget you.
But I took a vow to never forget you.
If you're still here, then we're waiting.
We'll wait for you to come back home to the broken little foes.
Until the guilt grows and grows.
When the time that's wasted comes back to haunt me.
And I'll deserve every bit. because I'm not spiritual yet.
I'm just reading the lines they gave me from the pulpit.
And it's not fading off, we remember the years.
As we sift through the laughter to find all the tears.
And I'm not worthy of grievance, I did nothing to prevent this.
And standing at your grave, I could have caused this.
__________
(November 17, 2007)
Heima
I've just pre-ordered my copy of the first ever film by Sigur Rós: "Heima" (which translates from Icelandic: "At Home"). They've gone back to tour Iceland and create one of (what I think will be) the most beautiful films I'll have seen in quite some time!
__________
(November 13, 2007)
Stay alive
I dreamed I was dying; as I so often do
And when I awoke I was sure it was true
I ran to the window; threw my head to the sky
And said "whoever is up there, please don't let me die"
But I can't live forever, I can't always be
One day I'll be sand on a beach by a sea
The pages keep turning, I'll mark off each day with a cross
And I'll laugh about all that we've lost
Do you think she knows how I prayed for her until I fell asleep, that I prayed for her before I first opened my eyes this morning, all day and that I'm anticipating her call?
__________
(November 10, 2007)
Leaving, not lost
She's given the flower
To place upon her grave
Before her lies any empty
Silent, sleeping face
But no she cannot see it
Not ever, never more
For minutes past the hour
Thought stolen from the Lord
Are never put to using
But always thought a waste
So lower her down slowly
As if she were a silent tear
Covered over like your pain
In her final resting place.
-Benjamin
__________
(November 04, 2007)
Hmm
Though my existence is closer to perfection than it has ever been, my state is further than ever before.
No wonder it's so hard for me to comprehend something so simple and so close.
__________
(November 03, 2007)
Oh the coincidence....
This morning driving to the KH I saw a license plate that read: "IM-DEB" ... yes, it wasn't anything extra-ordinary, but it caught my eye because I have a friend who's name is the same and thought she might like it ... less than 5 hours later in a different city I saw a license plate that read: "IM-JERRI" ... !
Oh the coincidence ... and that was my adventure for the day ...
__________
(November 01, 2007)
The simplest thing
Seeing her smile is proof enough that I should be happy.
__________
A Meager Introduction
Hello, I've decided (oddly enough, almost on the exact date as the last time I'd worked on my website, one year ago) that I will reopen my online journal.
It's funny how we ourselves change over time, one year ago my goal was to have an awesome blog that had tons of .gifs and stupid little features that were of little to no importance... I spent my days skateboarding, playing on the computer, playing the guitar, and doing other "fun" things... I've lost much of the desire to do these things now (although music is still a large part of my life). I've always tried to keep my eye simple, my focus is on Jehovah, I live for him and the one whom I plan serving alongside in my pursuit of glorifying his name and teaching others about him. This website reflects my lifestyle, I've decided to keep it simple, no comments, no special features, just a simple journal to jot down passing thoughts, reflections, things that catch my interest and so on.
I won't lie, one of the main reasons for this website is to inspire myself... sometimes we let things out subconsciously that we'd never even have known were inside, and by re-reading what I've written I often find them and come to certain realizations that will help me continue to better myself and to come closer to an understanding of who I really am, what I'm doing and why.
I wont be changing the URL from "decemeberstars" merely because I don't feel this website is of enough importance or even significance to be worthy of my spending money on it... IMO it's barely worth my time to create, hopefully the outcome will be.
I dedicate this and everything here to my girlfriend Cassandra. She is my real source of inspiration and motivation, without her I'd be nothing (still). BTW the picture above was taken by and of her... thank you Honey :)
Just in testing I'd like to end this entry with a quote by one of my favorite bands mewithoutYou, it's a verse from the song: "In a Market Dimly Lit" off of their 2006 album: "Brother, Sister"
I wrote a little song for you
with a melody I'd borrowed put to words that didn't rhyme
to repeat what you already knew
as the stones thrown at your window tapped a syncopated time
you kept a distance out of fear you'd break
but what good's a single windchime, hanging quiet all alone?
the music our collisions would make
is a sound that turns the road-that-leads-us-back-home
into Home.
